December 08, 2015

Rousey bryter tausheten

December 08, 2015/ Tarjei Mørkve

Ronda Rousey snakker for første gang med media etter tapet mot Holly Holm.

Fra ESPN Magazine:

Former UFC women’s bantamweight champion Ronda Rousey has roared back with a massive interview with Ramona Shelburne for ESPN The Magazine.

“I always think I can lose all of them,” said Rousey. “I’m the only one that’s scared when I walk in there. I’m always f—ing scared.”

But this time, Ronda Rousey’s fears were realized.

What ended when Rousey lost to Holly Holm? Her aura of invincibility? The figure who shattered myths about male physical superiority? The marketing of a superwoman? A winning streak?

“I feel like I’m grieving the death of the person who could’ve done that,” she says.

“I always say you have to be willing to get your heart broken. That’s just what f—ing happens when you try.”

“I’m just really f—ing sad,” said Rousey slowly, in a voice so soft you have to lean in to hear.

“I need to come back. I need to beat this chick. Who knows if I’m going to pop my teeth out or break my jaw or rip my lip open. I have to f—ing do it.”

“I was thinking, ‘On the bright side, I’m more like crushed idealism and sardonic sense of humor now.'”

“I got hit in that first round. … I cut my lip open and knocked a couple of my teeth loose. I was out on my feet from the very beginning.”

“I wasn’t thinking clearly. I had that huge cut in my mouth and I just spit [the blood] out at my feet. Then they brought the bucket over and I’m like, ‘Why didn’t I spit it in the bucket?’ I never spit on the ground.”

“It was like a dumbed-down dreamy version of yourself making decisions. … I was just trying to shake myself out of it. I kept saying to myself, ‘You’re OK, keep fighting. You’re OK, keep fighting.'”

“I just feel so embarrassed. How I fought after that is such an embarrassing representation of myself. I wasn’t even f—ing there.”

“Maybe I can’t do it all before my prime, before my body is done. But f— it, maybe I can.”

For those who wondered where Rousey has been, the day after she returned, she and boyfriend UFC heavyweight Travis Browne drove 15 hours to a remote ranch owned by a family member of Browne’s. They did the same thing after the previous fight, but that time it was of course celebratory.

This time, no so much.

“I kind of just slept a lot and ate fast food,” she says “First I was so sick I couldn’t eat anything. Then I just slept and pooped in the woods. I used a whole roll of toilet paper in one day.

“Physically, my body was refusing its own failures. It was, like, sick of itself. Expelling itself. Like all the skin came off my face. My whole body flushed it out.”

She knew what people were saying.

“That I’m a fucking failure and I deserve everything that I got,” she says sharply.

“I guess it’s all going to be determined by what happens in the rematch. Everything is going to be determined by that. Either I’ll win and keep going or I won’t and I’ll be done with everything.”

“I was always so sure that I could will my body to do anything that I wanted it to do. I wouldn’t listen to it.”

“It wasn’t long before (my mother) was stopping by and telling me that I can’t hide my whole life. I have to do something with myself. Turn on my cellphone and stop ignoring everyone.”

Rousey’s mother, the first American to win gold at the world Judo championship, Dr. AnnMaria De Mars, is not fond of Rousey’s trainer, but neither side is changing.